Chris Daughtry is still trying to process his feelings after losing his mother and daughter just days apart.

At a June 23 appearance Kelly Clarkson ShowThe American Idol Aluminium recalled the most difficult parts of dealing with the deaths of his 25-year-old stepdaughter HannahHe was killed by suicide on Nov. 12 and his mother Sandra, who passed away from cancer a few days earlier.

“I dealt with both differently, processed both losses very differently—the common denominator in both is the guilt,” he told host Kelly Clarkson. “The ‘I wish I would have said this. This is what I wish I had done. It would have been so much easier to call more.

Chris said, “Those feelings of guilt are the most difficult because there is nothing you can do about them.” It’s hard to forget what could have been done, or how you can do it. I find myself beating myself up over this.