For the love of life Jacob Elordi isn’t always euphoric—especially when it comes to navigating the realities of fame.

The actor was catapulted into stardom—and life in the public eye—after appearing as Noah Flynn in the 2018 Netflix movie The Kissing Booth. However, life in the limelight presented its own challenges. Particularly his private life.

An interview with GQ‘s first-ever Hype issue, Jacob, who reprised his Kissing Booth role in its two sequels and landed a role on the HBO hit series Euphoria, said he at one point even wanted to quit acting, “which might sound quite sensitive and dramatic, but I am sensitive and I’m very dramatic. It was a horrible experience to be a public character. It was so alien to me.” 

The paparazzi didn’t make things any easier, and Jacob still remembers the first time he was photographed with someone else.

His words were: “It felt as if, all of the sudden, it was me being a poster.” He said, “Like I were a billboard.” It almost felt as if it were for sale. My brain was a f-king beast. It was like I didn’t know if my words were true. It really skews your view…. This creates an extremely paranoid lifestyle.”