Teigen’s decided to shelve alcohol not long after TV personality Courtney Stodden and Project Runway alum Michael Costello accused her of cyberbullying them in 2011And 2014, respectively. (While she issued a public apology to Stodden, Teigen’s team denied Costello’s allegations, calling his photos of their alleged DM exchange “fictional.”)

She explained that “I believe you can learn so much from the moments when you lose so much.” TodayShe did a revaluation this October in response to the backlash. You lose everything, and your whole world gets turned upside-down. For me, it was a big moment of like, ‘Wow I need to find out how I can be better, how can I grow from this, learn from this.’

She didn’t say she was grateful for it, but she did note that “It made my character stronger, and made me a better person.” That’s how I got sober.

At the time she was marking 100 days without alcohol. She added that “I feel like my work has been done and I hope they can forgive me and, you know… be open to the possibility of seeing me as better.”

Either way, she’s celebrating the new her, noting that cutting out cocktails helped her as she processed losing son Jack 20 weeks into her pregnancy.

“It took a lot of therapy,” Teigen, who is also mom to 5-year-old daughter Luna and 3-year-old son Miles, continued. It was important to me that I be clearly understood. It was because I was clear-headed that honestly getting sober was important. To understand the therapy I received and absorb it properly, I had to have the ability to see past my alcoholism.