Bebe Rexha is getting real with her fans.

The 32-year-old singer posted an emotional TikTok on Monday, Dec. 27, giving fans an “honest update” about her recent weight gain and how it’s affected not only her self-confidence but also her ability to enjoy the holiday season. 

“So it is the holidays and I know we’re all supposed to be, like, merry and like, ‘Yay, it’s the holidays,’ which I am…ish,” Rexha began in the TikTok. “I believe I’m the heaviest person I’ve ever been. “I just weighed myself and it’s embarrassing to share the weight with you.

It’s not about this,” she said. It’s not just about that. “It is disgusting to me, as in my own body.”

This led Rexha to take a step back from social media in recent months.

She said that she hasn’t posted as often because it doesn’t feel great in her skin. “When I feel bad, it’s hard to write.”