Michael Madsen is reflecting on his final conversation with son Hudson Madsen.

Actor, 64 years old, spoke about his pain in a statement that he made to the Los Angeles Times shared days after Hudson died by suicide.

“I am in shock as my son, whom I just spoke with a few days ago, said he was happy—my last text from him was ‘I love you dad,'” Michael told the newspaper, which published the piece on Jan. 25. He said, “I did not see any symptoms of depression.” This is very sad. “I’m trying to understand the events and make sense of it all.” 

It Reservoir Dogs star—who is also father to sons Christian, Calvin, MaxAnd Luke—said Hudson had recently completed his first tour with the U.S. Army. Social media postings indicate that Hudson had been stationed at Hawaii, and was promoted just last March. The Los Angeles TimesAgain, citing social media posts again, he also claimed he had spent some time in Afghanistan.

Hudson served in the U.S. Army and was also married to his wife. CarlieMichael, meanwhile, said they had a strong relationship.

Michael told the publication that despite having typical financial challenges, he still wanted to have a family. Michael shared that he was thinking about his future and decided to publish it. [sic]This is amazing. “I can’t believe what just happened.”